Over 1/3 Of Employees Lack The Confidence To Ask For A Raise
Confidence eludes so many people, all around the world. The confidence to follow our dream careers, the confidence to ask for a raise, the confidence to ask that person out on a date, the confidence to speak in front of a large group of people. Right Voice for You facilitator and personal development coach, Christian Verny has some ideas on why people lack this elusive quality, and what they can do to change that.
Today, Christian travels the world empowering others to build their confidence and transform aspects of their lives, but back at the start of his career in IT, he remembers hating talking in front of others. “Back in 1990 my boss asked me to do some training. I dutifully did as I was told but hated every single minute. It terrified me and I was so uncomfortable with public speaking,” Christian says. “I have to laugh now considering what I do for a living. I love public speaking and facilitating classes to teach others how to find happier, more confident lives for themselves.”
Christian sees many people who lack confidence and are stuck, unable to move forward in their lives. In so many cases he finds it’s the opinions of others and even judgement of their own selves that has inadvertently created this situation. “They have so many blocks, and they think these obstacles come from genuine inabilities, but when we peel back the layers it often comes down to something a parent or a teacher said, something they perceive society disapproves of. They bought into these ideas without realising it, and now – unbeknownst to them – those voices still rule their decisions.”
“It can even be something positive someone said. A teacher may have told someone they excel at Mathematics, science and more practical subjects with the insinuation that they lean that way, rather than to creative pursuits. If someone buys into that, they may end up lacking the confidence to take on creative things that interest them later in life because they see themselves as practical, and only good at accounting, IT or something more logical. Working out those deep set beliefs can be really beneficial,” he advises.
Christian believes that asking ourselves some questions – and not forcing the answers to come – can help hugely to get to the root of confidence issues. He’s seen dozens of people go through this process and watched them blossom before his eyes. “They don’t need tips and tricks to be more confident, they just need to remove what’s in the way.”