Sex is a charged topic. It’s one of the most judged areas of life, and one where insecurity is at its highest, miscommunication is a given, and emotions can run the show.
The truth is, for so many people, once you get naked and intimate, what could be a beautiful, fun, nurturing experience becomes mired with expectations, rejections, projections, and confusion – both spoken and unspoken.
What if being more yourself would allow you to have more fun? Even a bit better sex, and overall less awkwardness? And what if you being yourself in the bedroom could actually be incredibly sexy for your partner, and relaxing for you?
Here are five ways to have a great time in the bedroom while still being yourself:
1. LOWER YOUR BARRIERS
Often, when we take our clothes off, we ironically become even less vulnerable than we were willing to be with our clothes on. When we are feeling like judgments could start flying our way – of our bodies, of the way we ‘perform,’ of what we know and don’t know about sex – we do something that is the opposite of helpful: we put big walls up around us to protect us from those potential judgments. The bummer about that is that we then don’t get to be very present with ourselves or with our partner. Often, vulnerability and fun in bed are directly related!
So how do you lower your barriers? You can literally imagine that any walls you may have around you are melting. Or deliberately push them down. You can also tell your mind to go take a nap – your mind is your greatest barrier!
2. STAY PRESENT WITH YOUR BODY
When you are present with your body, there are so many signals, sensations, and so much information that you can receive as to what works, what’s fun, and what doesn’t work. Your body is an extremely intelligent sensate organism that is communicative, has preferences, and is often way more tuned in than you give it credit for. What if your body could be your friend in the bedroom and you could know what is working and what isn’t? Your body might even know a thing or two about your partners’ body if you get your mind out-of-the-way! And that can be fun!
3. GET RID OF YOUR PROJECTIONS & EXPECTATIONS
When you’re going to bed with someone, chances are you have some projections about them. It may be that they are attractive, wonderful, a great catch. Or that they are not kind, might not be a good fit, or even that they will judge you and not enjoy being with you. The problem with this is that our projections and expectations often end up showing up! Your point of view can create your reality – so if you have the point of view that somebody is going to judge you, they just might!
When you know that you have projections and even expectations about someone, you can go beyond them more readily by asking yourself to destroy and uncreate them. You will be surprised by how quickly and powerfully this tool works to change things!
Ever since I was a kid, I have known that anything and everything is possible, that JOY is our natural space of being, and that we can create whatever we desire in our lives just by choosing it–and choosing to be the magic that we truly be. After 18 years of facilitating change in the world, in bodies, and in every area of peoples’ lives, I can truly say that I have not found a body of work to date that is as fast, fun, potent, and super transformational as Access Consciousness! When I found Access Consciousness, and had my Bars run for the first time (energetic bodywork), I felt as if I had just received a download of bliss into my body and my life. Everything changed. I am a single mom who now has so much fun with my kids; a relationship that truly works and is a huge contribution to my life; a happy body; a delightful business; and just joy and ease in the knowing that I can create, and choose, anything and everything I desire!! Access Consciousness is easy, fun, light, playful, magical, FAST, and practical. These tools work. If you are ready to choose for you! I have so much gratitude that I get to spend my days sharing these tools with other people; watching others’ take the tools of Access and RUN with them….watching them fall in love with themselves….and watching them create a life and living of joy, abundance, and ease. What an incredible gift! Find out more about Heather Nichols here.