with Brendon Watt.
What if the Joy of business begins from the moment you are born? What would it be like if every child was empowered to be the leaders in their own life and create from a space of choice, possibility and awareness and total non-judgment?
I took the opportunity on my radio show recently to talk about what being a different parent is like, with none other than my partner (and totally different Dad), Brendon Watt. Brendon and I live together with Brendon’s son, my step-son Nash. I first met Nash when he was five years old, and since then I have seen and admired how Brendon creates his relationship with Nash every day from a different point of view than most parents.
Brendon recognised that he had a different point of view about becoming a parent “I had a lot of friends in the same situation, about to start families and have kids… all of them said to me ‘well, I have had my fun, now it’s time to have a family’… I realised I was different. I didn’t have the point of view that having kids meant giving up me. The easiest way to show a kid to be themselves, is to be you. If you are not willing to be you and create your own life, you are not teaching them to create their lives for themselves.”
It’s not about being selfish. When you choose to have kids, you need to support them and include them in your choices. And you can do this in a way that empowers you and your kid.
Here are some of Brendon’s tips for empowering yourself and your kids in life:
Give your kids information. If they ask how much it costs, what’s it like to have sex, or being in relationship, why would you not tell them? Allow your kids to ask the questions of what information they require, rather than deciding this is what they need or don’t need to know.
Give up controlling your kids. This doesn’t mean letting them run wild! You need to give them some rules so they know what works for you. Empower them with tools to have awareness of what their choices will create. Ask “If you choose that, how do you see that working out?”, “Is that how you would like to be treated?” Be willing for them to stuff up. Allow them to choose, and ask “what awareness did you get from that?”
Don’t expect anything. The more you expect, the more you have to judge you and your kid if they don’t go down the track you decided was best. It also limits them from creating something better than you could have thought up for them. If you didn’t expect anything, who could they choose to be, what could they create?
Are you projecting your fears on your kids? If you do this, more often than not they have to create the same trauma around the issue that you did. Where did you buy your fears from in the first place, are they even yours? And do you really wish to put that on your kids?
Have your own back. Trust yourself, don’t judge yourself and know each choice you make as a parent is only good for 10 seconds. If it doesn’t work, choose again. Choosing in 10 seconds gets you to the place where you don’t even have time to judge yourself, you just choose again! If you desire to truly have your child’s back, you have to be willing to trust you and have your own back first. If they see you are willing to honour and be kind to yourself, they will have that possibility in their own lives.
To listen to the full show I did with Brendon on Omtimes Radio, which has even more tools and information on the topic, go here:
OMTimes 2015 Empowering your kids with Brendon Watt